Andiron Tales by Bangs John Kendrick

Author:Bangs, John Kendrick [Bangs, John Kendrick]
Language: eng
Format: mobi
Tags: Short Story Collection, Horror, Fiction
Publisher: manybooks.net

CHAPTER VIII.

On the Trolley Cloud.

As I stated at the end of the last chapter, the travelers Tom and his companions encountered upon the Trolley cloud were a wonderful lot. In the first place, the whole situation was strange. Here was, in fact, a perfect car, made of what at a distance looked to be nothing but a fleecy bit of vapor. It had seats and signs--indeed, the advertising signs alone were enough to occupy the mind of any person seeing them for the first time to the exclusion of all else, what with the big painted placard at the end, saying:

FOR POLAR BEARS GO TO ARCTICS FIFTY-SEVEN VARIETIES. No Home Complete Without Them.

Another showing a picture of Potted Town, in which all the inhabitants lived on canned food and things that came in jars, reading:

This is the famous Potted Town, Where everything is done up brown, We live on lobsters tinned, and beans, And freshly caught and oiled sardines; On ham and eggs done up in jars, And caramels that come in bars, Come buy a lot in Potted Town, And join the throngs we do up brown. A corner lot for fifty cents--

A bargain that is just immense. An inner lot for forty-nine For residence is just divine. If in a year you do not find That we are suited to your mind We'll give you fifteen cents in gold, And take back all the lots we've sold, If, when in other lands you go You'll recommend Soapolio.

"Who on earth wants a Polar Bear at home?" ejaculated Tom as he read the first.

"I do," growled a deep bass voice at his side, and the little traveler, turning to see who it was that had spoken, was surprised and really startled to find himself seated next to a shaggy-coated beast of that precise kind. "I do," repeated the Polar Bear, "and if anybody says I don't I'll chew him up," and then he opened his mouth and glared at Tom as if to warn the young man from pursuing the subject further.

"So would I," put in Righty. "So would I if all the Polar Bears were like you."

The bear was apparently pleased by the compliment and, with a satisfied wink at Righty, folded his fore legs over his chest and went to sleep.

"I think I'll buy one of those lots in Potted Town," said a Kangaroo who sat opposite to Tom.

"You couldn't raise the money," growled a Flamingo who sat at the far end of the car. "Thirty cents is your measure."

"Let him alone, Flammy," said an Ostrich who was crowded uncomfortably in between the Kangaroo and an old gentleman with one eye and a green beard who, Tom learned later, was a leading citizen of Saturn. "He can't help it if he's poor."

"Thank you, Mr. Ostrich," said the Kangaroo, with a sob. "I was very much hurt by the Flamingo's remark. I have 19,627 children, and it keeps me jumping all the time to support them."

[Illustration: "IT KEEPS ME JUMPING ALL THE TIME.

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